Do Not Attempt This At Home?

It stopped me in my tracks.  Surely this couldn’t be for real.  But there it was, right there on the shelf, no figment of my imagination.

What was the puzzle?  Well, I had been walking that curiously crooked way that I usually walk when I’m in the library, in a forward direction, generally, but with my head turned left and tipped over on its side so I can read the book titles as I walk.  But this one was so big I’d have had no problem reading it standing right side up.  At nearly two inches thick, it had a title that arrested me; it was of the irony of it.  This massive book was titled An Introduction to the Gospel of John.

You can’t be serious, I silently remarked to the author, who, of course, couldn’t hear me.  An introduction?  Okay, just how many pages are there in this book?  I hoisted it off the shelf because I just had to know.  There were over three hundred.

It’s no wonder so many people don’t read the Bible.  It’s no wonder they’re intimidated out of even cracking it open.  Someone’s writing books they’re supposed to read first that are bigger than the Bible itself.

In my Bible, the Gospel of John spans merely 29 pages.  You could read the whole Gospel of John ten times before you’d finish that Introduction book, and, with the Holy Spirit’s help, you’d have a better understanding of what the book’s all about than you would by the time you slogged through the Introduction.

The Bible is meant to be accessible, user friendly.  John actually limited the size of his book.  He ends the book by saying, “And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books which were written.”  John 21:25

But what was included was enough.  John explains,

“Many other signs therefore Jesus also performed in the presence of the disciples, which are not in this book; but these have been written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name.”  John 20:30-31

If there were more that we absolutely had to have, God would have given it to us.

That’s not to say there isn’t a place for commentaries or study notes, but don’t be afraid to jump right in and start with God’s Word.  And don’t be afraid to turn your children loose on the raw Word of God either.

Your Bible carries no warning label, no “Special knowledge required; do not attempt to read this at home!”  Yes, there’s mystery, but He means for us to know Him.  Yes, God’s ways are masterfully and intricately orchestrated, but His message is no less masterfully communicated.  

In Earnest

". . . Knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade men . . .

Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ,

as though God were making an appeal through us;

we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God."

II Corinthians 5:11a, 20

I was convicted and inspired all at once.  This taking it to heart*  business is contagious.  Read on, and I'll explain.

Our son, Ben, had written a short story that he was excited for me to read.  A few nights ago, I was sitting on the bean bag in his room, reading his story aloud, as he put clean sheets on his bed.

In this story, the life of one Charles Wrangler, a rather bitter, disillusioned older man, Providentially crosses with that of a polite, young, Christian man, named Justin, as they find themselves on the same cross-country Amtrak train.  As the story unfolds, the reader is drawn into the ensuing discussions between the two very unlikely friends.  Justin looks beyond Mr. Wrangler's cynical attitude and obvious hurts to good-naturedly inquire about Wrangler's future, not just the retirement he's saving for and is hoping will be more fulfilling that his exhausting executive job, but the future after that--his eternal future.  Part way though the story I paused, and Ben wanted to know what I thought of his characters.  How did they come across?

I said I thought the older man seemed grumpy and gruff.  I sat for a moment in silence, wondering if perhaps he was gruff because Justin wouldn't let him maneuver around his questions.  "Justin's been pretty persistent," I observed aloud, thinking that maybe Justin's character should be mellowed a bit.

"But Mama, wouldn't you be?!"  At this point Ben had emphatically flopped himself across the bed and was hanging partly off, facing me and in earnest.  "If you knew you had only a day and a half with someone on a train, wouldn't you be trying to talk about eternity?  Wouldn't you want to see his life changed?  You might never see him again!  We need to live every day like we don't know how much time we have left!"

He had me.  And I had been willing to consider mellowing Justin. And for what?  So Justin could avoid an awkward moment?  To make Mr. Wrangler more comfortable while his life careened recklessly toward hell?  What was I thinking?

Justin hadn't been unkind or rude; in fact, he'd been compassionate and helpful even as Wrangler bordered on a being a bully to everyone.  Justin had been persistent, yes, and in earnest, like Ben was, because he understood that the stakes were incredibly high.

So I sat there convicted.  Convicted and inspired at the same time.  Convicted because I wondered if I'd have been as earnest as Justin.  But inspired by the call to make the most of every opportunity.

*"It is better to go to a house of mourning
    than to go to a house of feasting,

    Because that [death] is the end of every man,

    and the living takes it to heart."

    Ecclesiastes 7:2

To read the previous Taking It To Heart posts, click here.

That They May Know Him

(Shared with the IAHE, too)

This time of year, as I look back on the year's learning and look ahead to all that is left to accomplish, I find in the words of Jesus, recorded in John 17:3, an important perspective.

"And this is eternal life,

that they may know You, the only true God,

and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."

While we, of course, still value the responsible completion of our assignments, when I consider Jesus' words, I am challenged to actively avoid being simply on auto-pilot, to avoid being so caught up in the routine of daily tasks that we would somehow overlook His call to relationship.  Our call, above all others, is to abide in Him, so that we would know him.  Do our children truly understand that eternal life, according to Jesus, is to know Him?

Oh, that each day would be rightly arranged to reflect this, both for us and for our children. . .  

Because, in the end, whether we know Him is all that will matter.

"More than that, I count all things to be loss

in view of the surpassing value

of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. . ."

Philippians 3:8

Taking It To Heart

(I shared this post with the IAHE blog, too, this week.)

I wasn't yet a mother when I first heard of the 'Terrible Two's'.  I have to tell you I was really troubled by the term.  It wasn't that I feared what would befall our household when we, Lord willing, would have a two-year-old of our own.  No, it was the fact that the term was being used in the very presence of the two-year-old personages being described in such terms.

What must the little ones have thought?  Maybe I'm in the minority, but I've always been inclined to think that our little ones comprehend far more that we often realize.  I determined then and there never to use the term to describe children, in or out of a child's presence.

And I determined that, if, Lord willing, we should be blessed with a two-year-old, we should refer to that year as the 'Treasured Two's' instead.

Granted, there are particular days with children, or even phases of life, which may present more challenges, shall we say, than others.  But it's amazing how much our own attitudes can affect the entire atmosphere of our home and imprint permanent messages on young hearts.  Even in the context of challenges, the valuing of our relationships should never diminish.

It's in this context that today I am 'taking it to heart'  (as I wrote about in the previous post titled The House of Mourning).  None of us knows just how many days we will have on this earth, but the number is indeed finite.  The question becomes, then, as we take that to heart, "What do I most want my children to remember?"


Will their memories of preschool days be of a mommy who was continually checking her watch to see how many minutes were left to 'endure' until nap time, when her relief would surely come?   Or will their memories be of a mommy who obviously treasured each moment her children were awake, openly grateful for the sweet conversations and chances to pour truth into their little hearts and minds?

Will the children who attend school outside the home hear their mommy singing 'It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year' when she can't wait to get them out of the house at the start of each school year?  (I've actually heard this.)  Or will their mommy be even more excited than they are for a school-cancelled snow day to spend together?  (Thankfully, I've seen this, too!)

Are our homeschooled children conscious that we are just checking off a list of stuff that must be done together for school?  Or do they know that their mama, though exhausted at times, would gladly choose their life of learning together over anything else she might be doing with her time?

In the context of what I want my children to remember, what should I be communicating?  How should I be saying it?  By what actions?  How often?  In what tone?  How does what I want my children to remember translate into daily practicalities?

Yes, indeed, the living takes it to heart. . .

The House of Mourning

(I decided to share this particular post
with the IAHE blog, too, this week.)


"It is better to go to a house of mourning

Than to go to a house of feasting,

 Because that [death] is the end of every man,

And the living takes it to heart."

Ecclesiastes 7:2

This week my husband went literally to a house of mourning, and though our schedule did not permit me to be there with him physically, I, too, was there in my heart.  He watched them bury his forty-nine-year-old cousin--a husband and father of three.  The new year had begun with a new job, but after only a week at the new job, the man entered the hospital, and by the end of ten weeks, after two liver transplants, he departed this earth.  That was it.  His life is finished.

The living takes it to heart.

What if that were I?  What if that were you?  What would be left unfinished?  When we breathe our last breaths, would there be something we'd regret not doing?

The living takes it to heart.

I'm sure he never intended to die at forty-nine.  We all tend to think we've got plenty of time.  The day before the house of mourning, we had 'feasted' with my father-in-law, who was celebrating his eightieth birthday, and who had just come victoriously through heart surgery.  When the future stretches out before us like a road we can't see the end of, we can be lulled into a false sense of eternal life on this earth.  With the end not clearly visible on our horizon, we are tempted to let go of the urgency of living intentionally.  

Living as if we've got all the time in the world, our theoretical priorities of ideals don't translate into actual priorities of time.  The pressing, yet often not so significant, becomes our master instead.  Unintentionally, we give up living intentionally. 

. . .But the living takes it to heart. . .

Our children will not be young forever.  Neither will any of us live forever, on this earth.

What must change, so that we live intentionally, and with no regrets?

. . . ONE YEAR LATER . . . The View From The Top

It’s been one year.  One year since the day our son, Ben, went running at top speed across wet grass after a runaway kite and slipped and broke his hip.  Ever the optimist, his verbal reaction in the emergency room, to the news that he would be having surgery to repair the break, was, “It’s hard to keep a cheerful personality down for long.”  Cheerful he was on the outside, but it still wasn’t easy.

Yes, thirteen years old, and broke his hip.  Who does that?  I’ll tell you who—the one for whom God had an out of the ordinary plan to refine his character.  Some lessons were learned right away.  He wrote about eight pages in the first six weeks about what the Lord was teaching him, and more in the next few weeks.  I shared some of his insights earlier on this blog.  However, the perspective that a year brings has highlighted even more character changes we’d have never foreseen or even guessed in a million years.

Earlier this week, we saw Ben’s orthopedic surgeon on the one-year anniversary of his fall.  She was very impressed with the healing.  In the new x-rays, you can’t even see where the break in the bone was, except, of course, for the three telltale screws, which bear testimony to something out of the ordinary.  Humanly speaking, there had been a moderate risk of part of the bone dying and crumbling, requiring a hip replacement.  We are so grateful for the Lord’s gift of adequate blood supply to the bone, keeping it alive.  Ben thanked the surgeon for her good work, but she said that his body did the healing, to which Ben responded that it was actually the Lord who did that.

After we got out to the car to return home, Ben remarked that, if he had it to do over, he wouldn’t have it any other way.  His sister’s reaction to that was that she wouldn’t go chasing the kite.  But Ben was serious.  We asked him to elaborate. . .

“Can this really be happening?” I thought, when I heard the news at the hospital.  “Why me?  Why Now?  Why did this have to happen?”  Well, some might call it being unlucky, but I call it Providence.  God decided that I should break my leg, go to the hospital, and spend the next several months getting back on my feet.  But it wasn’t just some random decision on God’s part.  He says in His word that He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us.  I believe that God used this time to really grow me, and teach me.

The first thing God taught me is that He always has a reason for our difficulties.  So, back to my original question, “Why did this have to happen?”  Well, I believe that God brings into His children’s lives these little things called trials.  Now the word “trial” has a natural negative connotation it, but that really shouldn’t be.  We think of trials as very hard, difficult times in our lives, something like climbing a huge mountain that never seems to end.  But we learn through God’s word that God thinks of trials as a way to grow us and show us new things, something like the amazing, beautiful view off the top of that mountain.  To sum that up, man mostly thinks of trials in terms of the climb and difficulty, or the view from the bottom, but God sees trials, not only as the climb, but also as a way to grow us and show us new things.  In other words, God views our mountainous trials from the top, seeing both our climb and the view.  He always has a reason for our mountains that is for our good.

            Something else that God taught me is that He is faithful.  You probably can’t imagine the size of the inward gulp that I had when we heard the results of the x-rays. A broken leg—that meant surgery.  Now I don’t know about you, but I think most people my age aren’t in the business of having surgery.  I’m not!  So when 8 o’clock rolled around the next morning (the scheduled time for surgery), I was quite nervous.  But after we had prayed, and gone down several floors, and into the surgery area, I had a lack of fear that I can’t explain, other than it being God’s peace.  I woke up after surgery and all was just fine. God is faithful.  This really had an impact on me, because if God can get me through the most scary and difficult time in my life so far, then, of course, He can get me through my math lesson!  God is faithful.

            Lastly, God taught me something regarding work.  Long difficult math problems, working outside pulling weeds, and doing chores were not something I used to enjoy at all.  And now I will use my two favorite words…but God changed me while I was sitting down!  Not being able to do so much for so long made me want to be able to do work.  I mentioned earlier the second thing God taught me, and it applies to this, too.  If God can get me through my experiences at the hospital, then God can certainly get me though my everyday life!   God has changed me.  Now I like work, I know that it is a good thing that God has given us to do, which honors Him and parents, and I know that God can get me through anything (and that includes every kind of work under the sun).

            Someone could say that I’ve had a very unlucky year full of difficult times and climbs, but I say it has been a wonderful time of refining by God.  Looking back on this year, I can see both the climb and the outcome, and I know that it was worth it.  If I had this year to do over again, I wouldn’t have it any other way!   ~Ben

"Consider it all joy, my brethren,

when you encounter various trials,

knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

And let endurance have its perfect result,

that you may be perfect and complete,

lacking in nothing."

James 1:2-4

Note from Carol:  By the way, if you haven't heard the song God gave me to write and share with our family only about 36 hours before this storm in Ben's life, you can listen here.  I want you to see what God did!

The Ticket Out Of Your Comfort Zone

For four days last week, two of my children and I were immersed in the world of homeschool speech and debate.  My daughter commented that one of the things that inspired her was that, regardless of level of polish, each and every one of the roughly 250 students who attended this national open tournament was not afraid to stand up and speak in front of others.  Considering that statistics say ninety-five percent of adults wouldn't take the podium if offered it, this was an amazing group of young people.  I sat back in awe as I marveled at their poise and professionalism, the likes of which many people twice their age are still lacking.  Some of them conducted themselves more like mastered-degreed executives than junior high and high school students.

How in the world did they come to be this way?  There may be a rare few who were born with a desire to speak.  Most of the others, though, came to this point, I believe, as a result of essential encouragement.  Public speaking hasn't always been within their comfort zones.

My daughter's story goes like this.  Back in 2006, I read about an oratory contest sponsored by the Optimist Club.  When I mentioned it to Megan, she promptly responded that there was no way she could write a speech that long (four to five minutes).  She surprised herself when her first draft was at least three times too long.  When she got it cut down to appropriate length, she still wasn't sure, though, that she could get up to deliver it--live and memorized.

But my philosophy on these things has always been that the only thing you can know for sure is that you never know until you try.   Well, she made it--through three levels of competition before getting beat. But never-mind winning or losing.  She was hooked on public speaking. When she had a message that came from her heart, she found she could face her fears.

The thing was, though, that she might never have done it at all without me essentially insisting she give it one try.  I never insisted that she do more than that.  I let her know I believed she could do it, even if she didn't believe it yet herself.  I knew that partly because my own mom had done the same for me.  Thank you, Mom!

The encouragement to try something new is truly essential for our children.  Too often their limited perspective prevents them from envisioning themselves doing--at all--a particular thing that lies outside their comfort zones, or it at least prevents them from envisioning success at it.  They might never discover a real passion for something without that essential encouragement to give something new a try, and without someone to encourage them in it.

The ticket out of our comfort zones often starts with a simple, little push and a healthy dose of encouragement.  And if that something new is clearly in line with the Lord's calling for His ambassadors, we can also be sure of His presence and enabling power.

Besides that, if all we undertake is for His glory anyway, then the pressure to personally succeed, by the culture's standard, is completely lifted off our shoulders.  It's not just about winning or losing.  The outcome is in the Lord's hands.  We just need to be willing.  "Lord, we want to honor You above all in this.  Teach us what You want us to learn in it, and make us a blessing to others through it."  That's been our approach to speech and debate.

For your family, it may not speech or debate, but something else.  I happen to believe that speaking skills are essential tools in the leader's toolbox, so I admit I am rather partial to speech activities, but in whatever new thing we or our children may be called to try, we can rest knowing that the ultimate outcome is in God's hands.  Our God, who does infinitely beyond what we could ever ask or think, just may have plans to use us for His glory in an area that we could never have imagined.  With that perspective, taking a step outside our comfort zones to try something new, for the sake of becoming a better equipped ambassador--or in some other way for the Kingdom of God, is not only the obvious path to choose, but it's really not so risky after all.

"Now to Him who is able to do

far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,

according to the power that works within us,

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus

to all generations forever and ever.

Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21