Extending Hospitality

 “Let us consider

how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds . . .”

Hebrews 10:24

The idea of hospitality being love for strangers has generated some interesting—and at times convicting—thoughts and discussion in our home lately.   Love for strangers can be practiced anywhere we are.

Hospitality is what the checkout lady should be getting from us.  Hospitality is what our fellow bus-riders should experience around us.  Folks who think very differently from us should still sense love from us.  How about hospitality toward our waitress, or even toward fellow travelers on the roadways?

If we are called to show love to strangers, is there anyone anywhere about which we could say, “Well, it doesn’t matter how I treat him, because I’ll never see him again anyway.”?

As our family was considering these things together, someone brought up a person that we don’t personally know, but whose actions we do not approve.  Somebody else joked that maybe he isn’t a such a stranger to us, because we know enough about that person to know that he is more like an enemy.  Then we remembered that not only are we called to love fellow Christians (whom we may know well) deeply from the heart, and practice hospitality (love for strangers) toward people we don’t know well, but we are called to love our enemies, too.  And that leaves no one outside the reach of the love our Lord asks us to extend.

Lately, I have been struck by the incredible love and concern that the apostle Paul expressed in his letter to the Christians at Colossae.  “For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you . . .”  (Colossians 1:9).  Some of those he was writing to—and praying for—he had never even met; they were people he’d only heard about.

“For I want you to know how great a struggle I have on your behalf, and for those who are at Laodicea, and for all those who have not personally seen my face, that their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from a full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is Christ Himself, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”  Colossians 2:1-3

Our prayers may never be the same again, as we express love for strangers by praying for people we haven’t met.  Even a simple trip to the store may never be the same again either.

Recently, I had the privilege of staying in a Bed and Breakfast in Illinois whose motto is “Arrive as guests; leave as friends.”  That indeed is an accurate description of my experience there.  My hostess knew how to go beyond the scrumptious food and cozy accommodations she offered, to express genuine love and care for her guests; she understood what hospitality really is.

Most people have some idea of how to be nice to their friends.  But God's people are called to go beyond that.  For the sake of the Lord’s reputation, let’s be the radical people, the people who are marveled at, who would dare to treat strangers as friends.

Our family would love to hear, by way of comments, any avenues of practicing love for strangers that you may think of.  We can spur one another on toward love and good deeds in Jesus’ name and for His sake.

If you missed the previous post on hospitality, you can find it by clicking here.

True Hospitality

"Let love be without hypocrisy.

. . .Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;

give preference to one another in honor

. . . practicing hospitality."

See Romans 12:9-13.

Hospitality—just what does that mean?  Most of us think of hospitality as hosting our friends in our home—serving a scrumptious meal for dear friends presented on a lovely table or providing clean and cozy accommodations for good friends from out of town.  But, actually, having our friends over for dinner isn’t hospitality at all.

The real meaning of the New Testament Greek word in Romans 12:13, which is translated as "hospitality," is actually love for strangers.

Love for strangers.  That’s right.  People we don’t know well. Certainly there’s nothing wrong about hosting friends in our homes.  In fact, it’s a wonderful thing to do, but we can’t legitimately call it Romans 12 hospitality.

Why?  Because hospitality is literally love for strangers.  How could we have missed this for so long?

This concept of hospitality is absolutely revolutionary.  You don’t even technically need to be in your own home to practice hospitality.  An attitude of love toward people you don’t know well can be pursued anywhere.  Granted, you can certainly demonstrate that love by inviting someone to your home, but true hospitality will also manifest in the way we treat someone outside our established circle of friends in any and every setting imaginable.

This changes everything!  Pursuing and practicing real hospitality means cliques are banned.  Inside jokes are entirely inappropriate behavior.  Hospitality means nobody within our reach ever feels like an outsider.  Nobody within our reach feels left out or like a fifth wheel.  Nobody in our presence should ever wish they could melt into the floor because their existence isn’t even acknowledged.

Hospitality leaves absolutely no room for self-centered behavior.  Hospitality means we will be others focused.  We will not be content to keep to our comfortable circle of old friends if there is a newcomer near.  We will get out of our selfish little comfort zones to reach out to draw in someone new.  And if after a conversation with someone, you realize you learned nothing about the other person, guess what?  That was inhospitable, too.  If you did all the talking, you displayed a great love of self, but no love for a stranger.

If we’re going to practice hospitality, there’s no getting by with an excuse of a reserved nature or shyness, either.   Refusing to talk to someone new is simply being inhospitable.

This real, Biblical hospitality is a challenging calling.  This is going to change everything.  It will stretch us.  We can never be comfortable with life as it is in our own little circle ever again.  But God never calls us to something He can’t or won’t empower.  The real obstacle to the practice of true hospitality is our focus on self.  Paul reminds us, in Philippians 2, of the ultimate stranger-love Jesus showed to us when He gave up His rights as God to come to earth to save us.  And he urges us to have the same attitude.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,

but with humility of mind

let each of you regard one another as more important than himself;

do not merely look out for your own personal interests,

but also for the interests of others.” 

Philippians 2:3-4

The nature of real hospitality creates an almost paradoxical phenomenon.  As we practice hospitality to strangers, pretty soon those strangers aren’t strangers anymore.  Of course, we can still spend time with them and host them now as our friends, but our eyes must be looking ever outward, and our hearts must be constantly reaching farther—to the ones at the fringes of and beyond our normal circles—if we are to continue to pursue true hospitality.

Truly, the practice of real, Biblical hospitality has nothing to do with how we treat our friends.  Instead it has everything to do with lovingly turning strangers into friends.  It’s about how we meet and treat strangers whether they come to us or we go to them.  And in fact, if we are really going to love strangers, we will go to them, both literally physically and in the way our hearts are turned toward them.  

Let us be the kind of people who make others feel welcomed, loved, appreciated, and valued whether we have known them for a year, an hour, a lifetime, or for only a minute!

May we be the kind of people who make others feel that they have come home the very moment they enter our presence.

P.S. Can you just imagine what the pursuit of real hospitality would mean for the spread of the gospel?!

The Ticket Out Of Your Comfort Zone

For four days last week, two of my children and I were immersed in the world of homeschool speech and debate.  My daughter commented that one of the things that inspired her was that, regardless of level of polish, each and every one of the roughly 250 students who attended this national open tournament was not afraid to stand up and speak in front of others.  Considering that statistics say ninety-five percent of adults wouldn't take the podium if offered it, this was an amazing group of young people.  I sat back in awe as I marveled at their poise and professionalism, the likes of which many people twice their age are still lacking.  Some of them conducted themselves more like mastered-degreed executives than junior high and high school students.

How in the world did they come to be this way?  There may be a rare few who were born with a desire to speak.  Most of the others, though, came to this point, I believe, as a result of essential encouragement.  Public speaking hasn't always been within their comfort zones.

My daughter's story goes like this.  Back in 2006, I read about an oratory contest sponsored by the Optimist Club.  When I mentioned it to Megan, she promptly responded that there was no way she could write a speech that long (four to five minutes).  She surprised herself when her first draft was at least three times too long.  When she got it cut down to appropriate length, she still wasn't sure, though, that she could get up to deliver it--live and memorized.

But my philosophy on these things has always been that the only thing you can know for sure is that you never know until you try.   Well, she made it--through three levels of competition before getting beat. But never-mind winning or losing.  She was hooked on public speaking. When she had a message that came from her heart, she found she could face her fears.

The thing was, though, that she might never have done it at all without me essentially insisting she give it one try.  I never insisted that she do more than that.  I let her know I believed she could do it, even if she didn't believe it yet herself.  I knew that partly because my own mom had done the same for me.  Thank you, Mom!

The encouragement to try something new is truly essential for our children.  Too often their limited perspective prevents them from envisioning themselves doing--at all--a particular thing that lies outside their comfort zones, or it at least prevents them from envisioning success at it.  They might never discover a real passion for something without that essential encouragement to give something new a try, and without someone to encourage them in it.

The ticket out of our comfort zones often starts with a simple, little push and a healthy dose of encouragement.  And if that something new is clearly in line with the Lord's calling for His ambassadors, we can also be sure of His presence and enabling power.

Besides that, if all we undertake is for His glory anyway, then the pressure to personally succeed, by the culture's standard, is completely lifted off our shoulders.  It's not just about winning or losing.  The outcome is in the Lord's hands.  We just need to be willing.  "Lord, we want to honor You above all in this.  Teach us what You want us to learn in it, and make us a blessing to others through it."  That's been our approach to speech and debate.

For your family, it may not speech or debate, but something else.  I happen to believe that speaking skills are essential tools in the leader's toolbox, so I admit I am rather partial to speech activities, but in whatever new thing we or our children may be called to try, we can rest knowing that the ultimate outcome is in God's hands.  Our God, who does infinitely beyond what we could ever ask or think, just may have plans to use us for His glory in an area that we could never have imagined.  With that perspective, taking a step outside our comfort zones to try something new, for the sake of becoming a better equipped ambassador--or in some other way for the Kingdom of God, is not only the obvious path to choose, but it's really not so risky after all.

"Now to Him who is able to do

far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,

according to the power that works within us,

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus

to all generations forever and ever.

Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21