Transcript Season

(Shared with the IAHE blog, too)

It's transcript season at our house, and I've been reminiscing.  One of my dear girls has started her last year of high school.  We have been through so much and learned so much together.  And most of it could never be reflected on a transcript.

Oh, yes, she has learned to balance chemical equations, to make bread and berry pie, to use imaginary numbers and subordinating conjunctions.  She can play the piano and tell you who Thaddeus Kosciuszko was.  But a transcript could never reflect who she has become.

In the progress of gathering up samples of her work for a portfolio, I came across a notebook wherein lay perhaps some of her most significant work.  It was work that went far deeper than history facts or geometry proofs.  It penetrated her heart and ignited something inside her.  This work hadn't been assigned for an official class.  It was what she had done during the time she devoted to God's Word at the beginning of the day during one of her school years.  The notebook contains the notes she made as she read through the Old Testament books of Joshua and Judges.

As I read through tears of joy, I saw that she had carefully catalogued, verse by verse, what was taking place, grouped the verses into logical divisions, and summarized the content.  She made observations on the overarching themes, and then applied them to her own life and the life of our nation with incredible insight.  God challenged her to align herself with His priorities, and she said, "Yes!"  He spoke, He revealed His faithfulness, and her faith grew.  And mine grew, too, as I read what the Lord had taught her.

Contrary to popular opinions of some, studying God's Word is no dry, meaningless, intellectual exercise; it has been a living and powerful shaping force in her life.  As I observe her attitudes today and hear her speak with passion, I know that the living God who revealed Himself in those passages has molded her faith with His own hand.

As we spend each passing day with our children, let's not forget that the most relevant things they will ever learn are the spiritual truths from God's Word that will anchor them long after they've left home and long after we have moved on to heaven ahead of them.

And more rewarding than anything that could be recorded on a transcript is knowing that our children's names are recorded in the Book Of Life.

". . . You know in all your hearts and in all your souls

that not one word of all the good words

which the LORD your God spoke concerning you has failed;

all have been fulfilled for you, not one of them has failed."

Joshua 23:14b

In Earnest

". . . Knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade men . . .

Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ,

as though God were making an appeal through us;

we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God."

II Corinthians 5:11a, 20

I was convicted and inspired all at once.  This taking it to heart*  business is contagious.  Read on, and I'll explain.

Our son, Ben, had written a short story that he was excited for me to read.  A few nights ago, I was sitting on the bean bag in his room, reading his story aloud, as he put clean sheets on his bed.

In this story, the life of one Charles Wrangler, a rather bitter, disillusioned older man, Providentially crosses with that of a polite, young, Christian man, named Justin, as they find themselves on the same cross-country Amtrak train.  As the story unfolds, the reader is drawn into the ensuing discussions between the two very unlikely friends.  Justin looks beyond Mr. Wrangler's cynical attitude and obvious hurts to good-naturedly inquire about Wrangler's future, not just the retirement he's saving for and is hoping will be more fulfilling that his exhausting executive job, but the future after that--his eternal future.  Part way though the story I paused, and Ben wanted to know what I thought of his characters.  How did they come across?

I said I thought the older man seemed grumpy and gruff.  I sat for a moment in silence, wondering if perhaps he was gruff because Justin wouldn't let him maneuver around his questions.  "Justin's been pretty persistent," I observed aloud, thinking that maybe Justin's character should be mellowed a bit.

"But Mama, wouldn't you be?!"  At this point Ben had emphatically flopped himself across the bed and was hanging partly off, facing me and in earnest.  "If you knew you had only a day and a half with someone on a train, wouldn't you be trying to talk about eternity?  Wouldn't you want to see his life changed?  You might never see him again!  We need to live every day like we don't know how much time we have left!"

He had me.  And I had been willing to consider mellowing Justin. And for what?  So Justin could avoid an awkward moment?  To make Mr. Wrangler more comfortable while his life careened recklessly toward hell?  What was I thinking?

Justin hadn't been unkind or rude; in fact, he'd been compassionate and helpful even as Wrangler bordered on a being a bully to everyone.  Justin had been persistent, yes, and in earnest, like Ben was, because he understood that the stakes were incredibly high.

So I sat there convicted.  Convicted and inspired at the same time.  Convicted because I wondered if I'd have been as earnest as Justin.  But inspired by the call to make the most of every opportunity.

*"It is better to go to a house of mourning
    than to go to a house of feasting,

    Because that [death] is the end of every man,

    and the living takes it to heart."

    Ecclesiastes 7:2

To read the previous Taking It To Heart posts, click here.

Taking It To Heart

(I shared this post with the IAHE blog, too, this week.)

I wasn't yet a mother when I first heard of the 'Terrible Two's'.  I have to tell you I was really troubled by the term.  It wasn't that I feared what would befall our household when we, Lord willing, would have a two-year-old of our own.  No, it was the fact that the term was being used in the very presence of the two-year-old personages being described in such terms.

What must the little ones have thought?  Maybe I'm in the minority, but I've always been inclined to think that our little ones comprehend far more that we often realize.  I determined then and there never to use the term to describe children, in or out of a child's presence.

And I determined that, if, Lord willing, we should be blessed with a two-year-old, we should refer to that year as the 'Treasured Two's' instead.

Granted, there are particular days with children, or even phases of life, which may present more challenges, shall we say, than others.  But it's amazing how much our own attitudes can affect the entire atmosphere of our home and imprint permanent messages on young hearts.  Even in the context of challenges, the valuing of our relationships should never diminish.

It's in this context that today I am 'taking it to heart'  (as I wrote about in the previous post titled The House of Mourning).  None of us knows just how many days we will have on this earth, but the number is indeed finite.  The question becomes, then, as we take that to heart, "What do I most want my children to remember?"


Will their memories of preschool days be of a mommy who was continually checking her watch to see how many minutes were left to 'endure' until nap time, when her relief would surely come?   Or will their memories be of a mommy who obviously treasured each moment her children were awake, openly grateful for the sweet conversations and chances to pour truth into their little hearts and minds?

Will the children who attend school outside the home hear their mommy singing 'It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year' when she can't wait to get them out of the house at the start of each school year?  (I've actually heard this.)  Or will their mommy be even more excited than they are for a school-cancelled snow day to spend together?  (Thankfully, I've seen this, too!)

Are our homeschooled children conscious that we are just checking off a list of stuff that must be done together for school?  Or do they know that their mama, though exhausted at times, would gladly choose their life of learning together over anything else she might be doing with her time?

In the context of what I want my children to remember, what should I be communicating?  How should I be saying it?  By what actions?  How often?  In what tone?  How does what I want my children to remember translate into daily practicalities?

Yes, indeed, the living takes it to heart. . .

The House of Mourning

(I decided to share this particular post
with the IAHE blog, too, this week.)


"It is better to go to a house of mourning

Than to go to a house of feasting,

 Because that [death] is the end of every man,

And the living takes it to heart."

Ecclesiastes 7:2

This week my husband went literally to a house of mourning, and though our schedule did not permit me to be there with him physically, I, too, was there in my heart.  He watched them bury his forty-nine-year-old cousin--a husband and father of three.  The new year had begun with a new job, but after only a week at the new job, the man entered the hospital, and by the end of ten weeks, after two liver transplants, he departed this earth.  That was it.  His life is finished.

The living takes it to heart.

What if that were I?  What if that were you?  What would be left unfinished?  When we breathe our last breaths, would there be something we'd regret not doing?

The living takes it to heart.

I'm sure he never intended to die at forty-nine.  We all tend to think we've got plenty of time.  The day before the house of mourning, we had 'feasted' with my father-in-law, who was celebrating his eightieth birthday, and who had just come victoriously through heart surgery.  When the future stretches out before us like a road we can't see the end of, we can be lulled into a false sense of eternal life on this earth.  With the end not clearly visible on our horizon, we are tempted to let go of the urgency of living intentionally.  

Living as if we've got all the time in the world, our theoretical priorities of ideals don't translate into actual priorities of time.  The pressing, yet often not so significant, becomes our master instead.  Unintentionally, we give up living intentionally. 

. . .But the living takes it to heart. . .

Our children will not be young forever.

Neither will any of us live forever, on this earth.

What must change, so that we live intentionally, and with no regrets?

. . . ONE YEAR LATER . . . The View From The Top

It’s been one year.  One year since the day our son, Ben, went running at top speed across wet grass after a runaway kite and slipped and broke his hip.  Ever the optimist, his verbal reaction in the emergency room, to the news that he would be having surgery to repair the break, was, “It’s hard to keep a cheerful personality down for long.”  Cheerful he was on the outside, but it still wasn’t easy.

Yes, thirteen years old, and broke his hip.  Who does that?  I’ll tell you who—the one for whom God had an out of the ordinary plan to refine his character.  Some lessons were learned right away.  He wrote about eight pages in the first six weeks about what the Lord was teaching him, and more in the next few weeks.  I shared some of his insights earlier on this blog.  However, the perspective that a year brings has highlighted even more character changes we’d have never foreseen or even guessed in a million years.

Earlier this week, we saw Ben’s orthopedic surgeon on the one-year anniversary of his fall.  She was very impressed with the healing.  In the new x-rays, you can’t even see where the break in the bone was, except, of course, for the three telltale screws, which bear testimony to something out of the ordinary.  Humanly speaking, there had been a moderate risk of part of the bone dying and crumbling, requiring a hip replacement.  We are so grateful for the Lord’s gift of adequate blood supply to the bone, keeping it alive.  Ben thanked the surgeon for her good work, but she said that his body did the healing, to which Ben responded that it was actually the Lord who did that.

After we got out to the car to return home, Ben remarked that, if he had it to do over, he wouldn’t have it any other way.  His sister’s reaction to that was that she wouldn’t go chasing the kite.  But Ben was serious.  We asked him to elaborate. . .

“Can this really be happening?” I thought, when I heard the news at the hospital.  “Why me?  Why Now?  Why did this have to happen?”  Well, some might call it being unlucky, but I call it Providence.  God decided that I should break my leg, go to the hospital, and spend the next several months getting back on my feet.  But it wasn’t just some random decision on God’s part.  He says in His word that He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us.  I believe that God used this time to really grow me, and teach me.

The first thing God taught me is that He always has a reason for our difficulties.  So, back to my original question, “Why did this have to happen?”  Well, I believe that God brings into His children’s lives these little things called trials.  Now the word “trial” has a natural negative connotation it, but that really shouldn’t be.  We think of trials as very hard, difficult times in our lives, something like climbing a huge mountain that never seems to end.  But we learn through God’s word that God thinks of trials as a way to grow us and show us new things, something like the amazing, beautiful view off the top of that mountain.  To sum that up, man mostly thinks of trials in terms of the climb and difficulty, or the view from the bottom, but God sees trials, not only as the climb, but also as a way to grow us and show us new things.  In other words, God views our mountainous trials from the top, seeing both our climb and the view.  He always has a reason for our mountains that is for our good.

            Something else that God taught me is that He is faithful.  You probably can’t imagine the size of the inward gulp that I had when we heard the results of the x-rays. A broken leg—that meant surgery.  Now I don’t know about you, but I think most people my age aren’t in the business of having surgery.  I’m not!  So when 8 o’clock rolled around the next morning (the scheduled time for surgery), I was quite nervous.  But after we had prayed, and gone down several floors, and into the surgery area, I had a lack of fear that I can’t explain, other than it being God’s peace.  I woke up after surgery and all was just fine. God is faithful.  This really had an impact on me, because if God can get me through the most scary and difficult time in my life so far, then, of course, He can get me through my math lesson!  God is faithful.

            Lastly, God taught me something regarding work.  Long difficult math problems, working outside pulling weeds, and doing chores were not something I used to enjoy at all.  And now I will use my two favorite words…but God changed me while I was sitting down!  Not being able to do so much for so long made me want to be able to do work.  I mentioned earlier the second thing God taught me, and it applies to this, too.  If God can get me through my experiences at the hospital, then God can certainly get me though my everyday life!   God has changed me.  Now I like work, I know that it is a good thing that God has given us to do, which honors Him and parents, and I know that God can get me through anything (and that includes every kind of work under the sun).

            Someone could say that I’ve had a very unlucky year full of difficult times and climbs, but I say it has been a wonderful time of refining by God.  Looking back on this year, I can see both the climb and the outcome, and I know that it was worth it.  If I had this year to do over again, I wouldn’t have it any other way!   ~Ben

"Consider it all joy, my brethren,

when you encounter various trials,

knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

And let endurance have its perfect result,

that you may be perfect and complete,

lacking in nothing."

James 1:2-4

Note from Carol:  By the way, if you haven't heard the song God gave me to write and share with our family only about 36 hours before this storm in Ben's life, you can listen here.  I want you to see what God did!

The Ticket Out Of Your Comfort Zone

For four days last week, two of my children and I were immersed in the world of homeschool speech and debate.  My daughter commented that one of the things that inspired her was that, regardless of level of polish, each and every one of the roughly 250 students who attended this national open tournament was not afraid to stand up and speak in front of others.  Considering that statistics say ninety-five percent of adults wouldn't take the podium if offered it, this was an amazing group of young people.  I sat back in awe as I marveled at their poise and professionalism, the likes of which many people twice their age are still lacking.  Some of them conducted themselves more like mastered-degreed executives than junior high and high school students.

How in the world did they come to be this way?  There may be a rare few who were born with a desire to speak.  Most of the others, though, came to this point, I believe, as a result of essential encouragement.  Public speaking hasn't always been within their comfort zones.

My daughter's story goes like this.  Back in 2006, I read about an oratory contest sponsored by the Optimist Club.  When I mentioned it to Megan, she promptly responded that there was no way she could write a speech that long (four to five minutes).  She surprised herself when her first draft was at least three times too long.  When she got it cut down to appropriate length, she still wasn't sure, though, that she could get up to deliver it--live and memorized.

But my philosophy on these things has always been that the only thing you can know for sure is that you never know until you try.   Well, she made it--through three levels of competition before getting beat. But never-mind winning or losing.  She was hooked on public speaking. When she had a message that came from her heart, she found she could face her fears.

The thing was, though, that she might never have done it at all without me essentially insisting she give it one try.  I never insisted that she do more than that.  I let her know I believed she could do it, even if she didn't believe it yet herself.  I knew that partly because my own mom had done the same for me.  Thank you, Mom!

The encouragement to try something new is truly essential for our children.  Too often their limited perspective prevents them from envisioning themselves doing--at all--a particular thing that lies outside their comfort zones, or it at least prevents them from envisioning success at it.  They might never discover a real passion for something without that essential encouragement to give something new a try, and without someone to encourage them in it.

The ticket out of our comfort zones often starts with a simple, little push and a healthy dose of encouragement.  And if that something new is clearly in line with the Lord's calling for His ambassadors, we can also be sure of His presence and enabling power.

Besides that, if all we undertake is for His glory anyway, then the pressure to personally succeed, by the culture's standard, is completely lifted off our shoulders.  It's not just about winning or losing.  The outcome is in the Lord's hands.  We just need to be willing.  "Lord, we want to honor You above all in this.  Teach us what You want us to learn in it, and make us a blessing to others through it."  That's been our approach to speech and debate.

For your family, it may not speech or debate, but something else.  I happen to believe that speaking skills are essential tools in the leader's toolbox, so I admit I am rather partial to speech activities, but in whatever new thing we or our children may be called to try, we can rest knowing that the ultimate outcome is in God's hands.  Our God, who does infinitely beyond what we could ever ask or think, just may have plans to use us for His glory in an area that we could never have imagined.  With that perspective, taking a step outside our comfort zones to try something new, for the sake of becoming a better equipped ambassador--or in some other way for the Kingdom of God, is not only the obvious path to choose, but it's really not so risky after all.

"Now to Him who is able to do

far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,

according to the power that works within us,

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus

to all generations forever and ever.

Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21

The Invisible Work

(If you're reading the IAHE's blog, this won't be new, 

but in case you missed it there, I'll share it here, too.) 

"For I am confident of this very thing, 

that He who began a good work in you

will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Philippians 1:6

October 31, 1992, we moved into our first house.  The frost had already come, and the previous owner had graciously cleaned up the then essentially empty flower beds.  Before long, winter came and blanketed it all in snow.

Then one day it happened.  Spring weather came, and all over the landscape beds, flowers and plants of all kinds started popping up everywhere.  I couldn't understand it.  I had planted nothing.  Where was all this coming from?

Such was my introduction to perennial gardening.  What had looked like just a barren piece of ground virtually came alive when the time was right.  I was in awe.  Each day I just had to go out and inspect things to see what the next surprise would be.  I began pouring over books, trying to identify what was growing in my yard.  I was hooked.  And I would never be the same.

Twenty years later, the arrival of the perennial spring growing things still calls me to wonder and awe before the Creator who engineered it all.  And each spring I am reminded of a wonderfully reassuring truth.  Even though there are times when things may look like nothing good is happening on the surface, like all is dead, like no progress is being made, like there isn't any hope anymore, what we see is not all there is.  God is ever and always at work, behind the scenes, in ways we could never even imagine, carefully orchestrating His perfect plan.  Then, when the time is right, He shows us what He's been working on.

Maybe there is a situation in your home or your school circumstances that you have begun to despair about.  Perhaps it seems things have come to a standstill where you really need to see some progress.  Is there something you are tempted to lose hope about?

"I would have despaired

unless I had believed I would see

the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;

Be strong and let your heart take courage;

Yes, wait for the LORD."

Psalm 27:14-15

Our gracious God is reminding us this season that He is at work even when it may look to us like nothing is happening.  When you see these spring growing things, remember that He is at work in your very own household as well.  What seems to us to be a permanent plateau in a child's learning or character development may actually be the time of God's invisible work.

When the time is right, we'll get to see what He's been working on. Until then,

"Let us not lose heart in doing good,

for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." 

Galatians 6:9

This Business of Loving

(If you read the IAHE's blog, you may have already been in on 

'This Business of Loving', but in case you missed it there, I wanted to share it here.) 

I've noticed something.  Sometimes we look at each other's families and think everybody but us has it all together.  Everybody else's families get along better than ours.  Their garden is more productive.  Their children are smarter.  We think other families don't struggle like we do.  We're the only ones with challenges.

That is just a pack of lies.

There is no perfect family.  Each and every family has areas they're still growing in, and the sooner we realize it, the better off we'll be.  If we can talk about it, we can encourage one another and build each other up.  So today I think we should talk about loving.

Let's just admit it up front.  Some people are easier to love than others.  For whatever particular reasons, some of our companions, maybe in the family or maybe not, have a more exhausting effect on our hearts than others do.

Over the years, I found myself, many times, praying for God to help me to love like He does.  After all, doesn't He tell us to imitate Him, as beloved children?  (Ephesians 5:1)  I have tried loving from my own limited resources and strength, and I have drained the last of them.  I don't know if I would have admitted it right out, but I was operating as if it were up to me to drum up all that love to imitate His love with.  It just wasn't working.  When I knew I should be loving, I felt more like retreating in frustration instead.  What was I to do?

Then the Lord, in His gentle way, reminded me of a truth that transformed everything--I'm dead.  That's right, I'm dead.

"I have been crucified with Christ;

and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me;

and the life which I now live in the flesh
I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me and gave Himself up for me."

Galatians 2:20

So. . . It's not actually about me just trying harder to love like He does, or even Him as an outside entity filling me with His love.  The reality is that He, in me, actually does the loving!  What a relief!

It should have been no surprise that I had failed; the dead aren't exactly known for their amazing accomplishments.  How freeing to be reminded that His never ending love has always been up to the job.  My aim, as His beloved child, is to please Him, but the power to actually do it is all from His life in me.

One more thing still bothered me though.  Why did loving still have to be so challenging? Again, His gentle reminder,

". . .and the life I now live . . . , I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me . . ."

He loved me!  Me, who is needy.  Me, who messes up.  Me, who often fails to use her head.  Me, who just seems to 'not get it' sometimes.  He loves me. Why should I think that the ones He wants to love through me should not be this way, should not be so needy?

The ones He chooses to set His love on through me won't necessarily be easy to love or worthy.  Neither am I.  I'm realizing that all the loving He does through me is a picture of His love for me.  It's the same love, and we're all equally needy.

When He loves through me, He picks the object of His love; I don't get to do the choosing. When I might be turned off, put off, or repulsed, He can and does love the most unlovely. And He does it perfectly.  I must remember that it's not my life anymore--I'm dead--I'm His temple now, His hands and feet.  I'm here for Him to love through me.  When my old self resurrects, and I forget who's really alive here, I get frustrated, and I bristle at the task. But this business of loving will never be too much for Him.

His love endures forever!  His compassions never cease!

O Lord, as beloved children, our aim is to please you.  Transform our homes, dear Father, with Your truth, as You transform us into the image of your Son!

I pray, "That He would grant you,
according to the riches of His glory,

to be strengthened with power
through His Spirit in the inner man,

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith;

and that you, being rooted and grounded in love,

may be able to comprehend with all the saints

what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
and to know

the love of Christ

which surpasses knowledge,

that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:16-19

So What? Part Three: Spent and Expended

I've noticed something.  When I'm struggling hard to accomplish something, there's a part of me that really longs for the job to be easier.  I tend to push back and fight against something that seems so very hard--that is, until someone tells me it's normal for it to be that exhausting, to have to work so hard at it.  And then, it's as if a great deal of the weight is somehow lifted, though it really is just as heavy as it ever was.  Somehow, just knowing it's okay to pour everything I have into something makes it easier to do.

Our culture tends to encourage us to look for the easiest way around, or out of, any challenge.  You know, "You deserve a break."  Yet we know in our hearts that anything truly worth doing will take a tremendous investment.

Why is mothering so exhausting?  Why does discipling our children require so much effort?  Why does compassion have to require so much of us?

There's something about being spent for somebody else's welfare that brings a satisfaction unequal to any other.  And it's not just somebody off the street saying so.  Our dear Savior was willing to take the most costly route to our rescue.  "You were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold. . . but with precious blood, . . .the blood of Christ."  (I Peter 1:18-19)

Yes, my heart says, but He was God; He had the strength to do it. . .

But then I look further into the testimonies of the saints, and I see what God did through an ordinary man who visited Thessalonica.  "We proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.  Having thus a fond affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives because you had become very dear to us."  (I Thessalonians 2:7-8)

And when he was worried that they might have fallen prey to temptation, the good news of their faith and love was his comfort, as he says, "Now we really live, if you stand firm in the Lord."  (I Thessalonians 3:8)  He didn't have adequate words to thank God enough for the joy he experienced on their account, they whom he described as his glory, hope, joy and crown of exultation.  Really living, for him, was all about their success.

This life poured out on behalf of others was no drudgery, but he rejoiced to do it.  "Even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all."   And he called others to join in this life of being spent for others.  "And you, too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me."  (Philippians 2:17-18)

This man, who sang in prison and who called others to rejoice, in letters he wrote from prison, found his joy in being poured out for others.  "I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls. . ." (II Corinthians 12:15)  Wow!

As did his Lord before him.

". . . Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart."  (Hebrews 12:2-3)

We start with opening our eyes, and then our hearts, to the needs around us.  Then, and only then, is the overwhelming and paradoxical joy of being spent and expended for someone else even a possibility.

If we never knew hunger or thirst, we'd never know the joy of having it satisfied.  If we were never cold, we'd never know the comfort of warmth.  If we never were sad, we'd never understand the soaring heights of joy.  And if we never let ourselves be expended for someone else's need, we'd never know the incomparable joy of being a part of meeting that need as the hands and feet of Jesus.

So I've stopped asking why it has to be hard.  I've stopped fighting against being poured out.  I'm resting in the truths I've found in His Word.  It's okay, even right, to spend and be expended for somebody else's soul.  It's what we were made for.

But that's not all.  It gets way better than that!

Even more refreshing to my soul is this:  No matter how much we are poured out, we can't ever be run dry.  Why?  Because it isn't our strength, our love, or our anything, after all.  It's His.

His life is indestructible.  (Hebrews 7:16)

His compassions are new every morning.  (Lamentations 3:23)

His lovingkindness is everlasting.  (Psalm 118:1)

He never becomes weary or tired.  (Isaiah 40:28)

As we are spent, He fills us up.  When we are weak, His power is strong in us.  (See II Corinthians 12:7-10)  There's no exhausting our supply, because His inexhaustible supply is what He pours right through us!  "Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, they will pour into your lap.  For by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you in return."  (Luke 6:38)

It's not up to us to drum all this up.  It is the Lord who will cause us to increase and abound--as in "to be alive with, abundant, and overflow"--in love.  (See I Thessalonians 3:12)

Oh, let's not hold back from seeing, feeling or giving! And then--let's look forward to not being able to hold back the joy!

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know. . . what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. . . . Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.  Amen."  (Ephesians 1:18-19; 3:20-21)

So Incredibly Alone

I should be in bed, but sleep won't come yet.  My heart is aching, but it's not for myself.  It's not even for anyone I'm related to.  The person on my heart doesn't even live in this country.

He lives in Ukraine, he's sixteen, and he is an orphan.  We met him when he was just ten when we were in Ukraine to adopt our daughter.  Over the years, he has watched so many of his orphan friends walk out of the orphanage forever with the families who adopted them.   And this dear young man has asked over and over why nobody came for him.  He gave his heart to Jesus a couple years ago and has been praying earnestly for a family every day, and praying, too, for the strength to handle it if God has a different plan.

More than any of the other children we left behind in Ukraine, this boy captured our hearts.  Such a cheerful boy, and we hear God's been shaping him into a leader other children look up to.  Over the years, God wouldn't let us forget him, and we, too, have been praying earnestly for a family for him.

After years of longing, the answer to his prayers was about to happen this fall.  Just before he turned sixteen, a family filed the necessary immigration papers so that, even though they couldn't come 'til after his sixteenth birthday--the cutoff age for being adopted by Americans--they could still adopt him.   A friend told us that, of all the children she's seen looking forward to being adopted, (and she's seen lots of them), he was the most excited of them all.

Tonight, however, we heard that the family, who had been in Ukraine intending to adopt him, had to leave him behind.  We don't know details yet; but, we have heard that Ukraine's government agency that handles adoptions had closed and nobody knew when it would open again.

This precious boy has no family to comfort him.  He has no earthly father to hold him and tell him that they will get through this together.  The one thing he ever wanted most on this earth was to have a family, and the only American family who can adopt him (because he is now over sixteen) went home without him.

I don't know about you, but I'm afraid I can't even begin to imagine the depth of disappointment he must be feeling right now.  Only Jesus knows how he feels--He knows what it's like to be forsaken, as He went through it for us on the cross.  This dear boy has no family to pray for him, so how about we be his family right now, and ask our Heavenly Father to pour out His comfort. . .

Oh, dear Father, please wrap Your arms of love around dear A.  In Ukraine, his Monday has already begun.  Be his strength.  Reassure him of Your love; don't let him begin to doubt You.  Help him to be able to focus on his school work and trust that You are still in control of his life.  Please be his provider and his refuge.  Help him to understand that You are not looking the other way.  Help him to trust Your heart even though he doesn't understand what You are doing just now.  In Jesus' name we ask these things.  Amen.

Parenting By Heart

Okay, I confess; I'm too often task-driven.  I find myself frustrated around those who are so wrapped up in their "to do" lists that they can't entangle themselves long enough to stop for a bit of conversation beyond the surface, yet I fear I subject my precious family to the same frustration at times, by my own behavior.

Yesterday, I read something that has made me pause to re-evalute, as I often need to do, my modus operandi.  Our adopted daughter, Vera, whom we adopted from an orphanage in Ukraine just before she turned fourteen, is working on a persuasive speech about adoption.  Yesterday afternoon, I read her first draft, and I would like to share a few lines with you.  Speaking of math class at the orphanage, ". . .When you don't get it, and everyone else is waiting for you to finish, the teachers scream at you that you are dumb and will never get it.  Can you imagine hearing that almost everyday for four years?  You start believing that they are right.  No one in the orphanage sat down with me to lovingly explain to me how to get it done. . . .I was wishing that I could belong to someone who would call me theirs and not be ashamed of who I was."

Wasn't there someone who would take the time to minister to her heart, to listen to her heart and to give, without reservation, the abiding reassurance, the safe refuge, the patient encouragement, and the tender love she so desperately needed?

She no longer lives at the orphanage.  She came home with us in 2006, to join a younger brother and sister.  We wanted to give what she needed, and we resolvedly rearranged our lives to attempt to supply it, yet real life can get awfully hectic, and in the hustle and bustle of life, I find I have to keep asking myself, "Am I still listening to their hearts?"  All three of their hearts have urgent and weighty needs every single day.  Every heart in every one of our homes does.

Do I really know what my children need most?  Am I tuned into their hearts enough to sense when they desperately need a tender encouraging word instead of a stern reminder from a task-oriented organizer?  Oh, Lord, forgive me!  Give me Your eyes to see their deepest needs.  Show me how to minister to their hearts as You would.  Love them Your way through me!

Slow me down, sit me down, with a smile, and not a frown, that I would love with no reserve and no regrets.


"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it."  ~Proverbs 3:27

Blameless and Barren

I am concerned and grieved over an attitude reverberating through parts of the home school community that has the potential to be very emotionally and spiritually harmful, especially since it is not Biblical.  Here it is:  the more spiritual you are, the more you trust God, and the more you "do 'Biblical femininity' right", the more ‘blessings from God (i.e. children)’ you will have.  Well, maybe nobody actually states that idea as blatantly or explicitly as I just did, but it does get voiced subtly, is often alluded to, and it ends up making precious people feel like second class Christians/parents, on whom God has not dispensed His favor, if they don't have lots of children.

Trusting God with everything is the right thing to do, but the number of children in a family is not a manifestation of how godly the parents are or how much they trust Him!  There is so much more than number of children that factors into God's plans.  I invite you to consider Zacharias and Elizabeth, who had no children for a very long time, even though they were righteous and walking blamelessly.  It wasn't about the number of children, but about God's perfect timing and the fulfillment of God's centuries previous prophecy concerning John, forerunner of the promised Messiah.

The parents of John the Baptist were righteous and walking blamelessly we are told in Luke 1, but barren and old.  That’s right—righteous, but old and still barren.  (Luke 1:6-7)  Right at the beginning, God sets out to make it clear that number of children doesn’t correlate to spiritual maturity.  He’s God, and He chooses to work differently with each of us.  His plans are executed on His timetable.  His plans are executed for His purposes.  However much we may pretend we are, or however much we would like to be, we are not the one in charge.

In John’s case, first of all, the older his parents were, the more miraculous the birth of this child would be.  You know how people will talk about these things; and he turned out to be one very talked about baby.  Combine the parents’ age with the prophecy and with Zacharias’ voice loss and miraculous recovery and you see that God engineered a situation that put everyone in anticipation of what He would do next with this child.  Check out Luke 1:57-66.

Second, we know, looking back, that John had to be a contemporary of the Messiah, so if John had come any sooner, the timing would have been all off.  God knows what He’s doing.  What a relief, and what a good thing it is, that we are not the one in charge!

Have you ever puzzled about the timing or circumstances of your own birth or of someone’s in your family?  Have you ever thought about the possibility that you or your child may have been born at just the right time to make one of you a contemporary of a certain someone else in order to fulfill God’s plan?  Centuries ago, Esther’s uncle challenged her to consider, “And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?”  (Esther 4:15)

Sadly, for some, 'trusting God' has produced  more guilt and stress, not less, as they worry that their number of children means they have somehow failed to live up to some man-made formula for a man-made definition of God's blessing.  Yes, children are a blessing, but children are not the only way God blesses.  It’s too easy for us to slip into worry and second-guessing when we see only from our limited perspective.  Meanwhile, God sees each of our lives from the perspective of His eternal perfect plans, where each life intersects with the others by design and in just the right rhythm.  His executive planner extends all the way to eternity.  Our calendar may only go to December 2011, or perhaps 2012, but He can see—and has planned for—forever.

Don't be tempted to buy the discouraging lie that the most godly will always have the most children.  It just isn't so, and Zacharias and Elizabeth are proof of it.  Abraham and Sarah are proof.  I repeat:  there is so much more than number of children that factors into God's plans.  A delay could be essential to His precise planning.  One or more of your children may need some special level of time-intensive care or discipleship that He desires you to give in a less crowded setting.  He knows your unique needs, the unique needs of each one in your family, and the unique needs of each one to whom you are called to minister.  Some of the circumstances of your life may not be about you at all, but about someone else whose life will be transformed because of the way He ordered your particular circumstances.

Trusting Him means we choose to be content in Him, period.  We do not compare our lives to someone else’s and expect that God will do the same with us.  We are not to make our own assumptions about what God will or won’t do for us when we submit to Him.  Our calling is to seek Him alone, and, in His wisdom, He may grant us children.  But if we seek children ahead of seeking Christ, we're on the wrong train.  And even if he doesn't grant children, He loves us no less.

In God's plan, we have two biological children.  Pregnancy did not come easily.  Our third and oldest child is actually our newest; we did the unthinkable, from the world’s perspective that is, and, at God’s direction, adopted a teenager who was older than our biological children.  It’s possible that, had we had more biological children, we’d not have been open to adoption when she was in need.  It's also possible that we could not have ministered to her needs, had our family been any bigger.  God knew that a dear, lonely girl needed us and that we needed her, in His way and in His time.

Family design is ultimately not a function of our spirituality but of His sovereignty.  When we forget that, we can become proud and unwittingly wound others for whom Christ died.

The older our children get, and the bigger and more complicated the life decisions become, the more I find myself needing to rest increasingly in His wisdom and sovereignty, seeking His direction at every turn.  With every turn of the pages of His Word, I see anew that He is worthy of our trust—both for the circumstances of our own lives and for the lives of the children we have, don’t have yet, or may never have.

He’s still God and He’s still good. He has perfect plans and the perfect power to fulfill them.  Oh, that we would be content in His arms.

His Word in Our Hearts

God's been working on me about something for the last couple weeks.  I'm wondering if you can relate.


About ten years ago, we had just moved to a new community and were visiting churches, looking for a new church home.  I walked into the four-year-old class to pick up our son when I looked across the room to see him standing in the midst of some kind of dispute; I supposed it was over some toy.  I arrived just in time to hear him say to the other children, "Don't you know what the Bible says?  'Do everything without complaining or arguing!'"  Seriously, that's what he said.  I knew exactly where that came from, and, if any of you have had the pleasure of listening to or watching the Steve Green Hide 'Em in Your Heart Bible Memory songs on CD or DVD, you know, too.


Over the years, our family has certainly reaped blessings from memorizing Scripture, yet I am both firmly convinced and convicted that we still don't do it enough.  God tells us we should know His Word, and I'm sure He knows far more about the benefits for us than we've ever comprehended.  Looking back in our family, one result is that, even at a very early age, our children had an internal guide to godly behavior, based on memorized Scripture, even before they more fully understood the theological reasons.  Did it guide their behavior all the time?  No.  Of course, our children weren't perfect, but Scripture was being laid down as the authority and a foundation worthy of building a life upon.  Filling up their little heads and hearts with Biblical truth is the kind of start Deuteronomy 6 is talking about.


The words and the images we take in do leave permanent impressions.  They shape the way we will think and act for the rest of our lives.  From a human perspective, Scripture has an impact at least equal to anything else we internalize.  Far beyond that, it is the supernatural Word of God and has God's power behind it to transform lives.  It's one thing to read it, but it gets woven so much more deeply into the very fiber of who we are when we commit it to memory.  So, why do we memorize so little of God's Word, especially as adults?  Why is it that children have 'memory verse' assignments, but adults rarely do?  We can use busyness as an excuse, or the handy aging brain/declining memory line, but I seriously doubt God is buying it.


Recently I learned that someone we know has just finished memorizing the entire book of Romans.  Yes, the entire book.  I was absolutely flabbergasted.  Then I was sorely convicted.  I memorized the book of James once, but that was more than twenty years ago.  The more I thought about it, the more I, then, became inspired to seek Him even more earnestly through His Word, renewing my devotion to committing much more of it to memory.


But what if memorizing doesn't come as easily as we'd like, or as easily as it used to?  We are told by Jesus that if we pray according to His will, that we will have what we ask.  So how about praying for God's enabling to memorize His Word?  That's clearly His will.


When Vera, our adopted daughter, first came from the orphanage, she had trouble memorizing anything.  She confessed to us that, when she was at the orphanage school, she would feign illness and escape to the infirmary rather than attempt to give a presentation before her class of something she was to have memorized.  Maybe she just wasn't capable of memorizing anything?  One could make lots of excuses for an orphan who'd been the victim of less than optimal brain stimulating opportunities.


Instead, we decided to believe God.  Even though she had a terrible time memorizing anything in the past, we prayed for her to be able to memorize Bible verses.  We should not have been surprised at the result.  Yes, she can memorize Scripture, and lots of other things, too, now.


I'm not content with the way things have been.  Are you?  Will you believe God with me?  Let's ask Him to enable us to hide more of His Word in our hearts!


Next time, Lord willing...I'll pass along the song that I recently wrote to help our family memorize Psalm 63:1-8.

P.S.  If you're not familiar with the Bible memory songs I mentioned, you might want to check them out.  The blessing of the Hide 'Em in Your Heart series is that the songs were so easy to learn permanently and still remain favorites, musically, even for the adults in our house.  The added benefit to the videos is that they plant visual images of God's Word being lived out and applied that beautifully complement the flesh and blood examples we are trying to live before our children's eyes and ears.

Exciting News

"A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, is God in His holy habitation.  God makes a home for the lonely. . ."  ~Psalm 68:5,6a

God's heart for orphans being loved is what inspired the making of All I Want for Christmas, and even if just one child ends up in a loving home because of this film, it will have been worth it.  That same heart is what motivates us to share this film with as many as possible.  We are excited to announce that, in order to better accomplish the sharing of the film, we have created a site on the web just for All I Want for Christmas, also known as "The Little Adoption Movie".

It is thelittleadoptionmovie.wordpress.com.  All I Want for Christmas can be viewed there, and viewers can read more about the reasons behind the film, the making of the film, more about God's heart for adoption, and more about His incredible love toward each of us.

As an extension of His own hand, and in His name, adoption mirrors the heart of God toward each of us.  While we were helpless to save ourselves, Jesus Christ came into our world to rescue us from the life we were doomed to because of our sin.  "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."  ~John 1:12,13

Will you help spread the word?

All I Want for Christmas

Five and a half years ago, our world changed forever when God tapped us to travel halfway around the world to adopt a teenage girl we had never met.  But as much as our world changed, her world changed even more as she received the fulfillment of her greatest wish--a family!  We can wholeheartedly say that the joy has been every bit as much ours as hers!

The hardest thing to do was to leave the others behind in the orphanage, the children who begged for someone to please find them a family.  Last Christmas, our biological daughter wrote a song that expressed the longing in their hearts and it became the spark which led to the creation of a short film, with the help of dear family and friends.  The six minute film is finally finished and we would like to share it with you.   Just follow the link below. . .But be warned:  your world may never be the same!

All I Want for Christmas on Vimeo

For the sake of the souls of the children left behind in orphanages, or passed from foster home to foster home, all over the world, would you help us spread this little adoption movie as far and wide as possible by as many means as possible?  Maybe you know someone who knows someone who knows someone who needs to see it!  And maybe someone who you'll never know this side of heaven will be adopted, not only by an earthly family, but into God's family, too, because you did!

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,

for the rights of all who are destitute.

Speak up and judge fairly;

defend the rights of the poor and needy"

Proverbs 31:8-9 (NIV)

P.S.  If you'd like to know more about our adoption experience and how God orchestrated it, you can follow the link on the right to our adoption blog.  The news isn't so new anymore, but the experiences and lessons the Lord taught us transcend time.

Character Part Three--How Young Is Too Young?

Imagine with me for a moment. . .What if your child, just as soon as she could talk, informed you that for most of her life up to that point, she'd been bored to tears with the lack of significant substance in what had been communicated to her in words?  How would you feel?

A healthy sort of fear of that very thing happening is what motivated me as a young mother.  The last thing I wanted to have happen was to find out that I had wasted time and opportunities to introduce her to Jesus, to teach her what is true, to explain what really matters in life.  Not concerning myself with what scientists said about how soon children can comprehend, I began talking to her even while I carried her the nine months before we saw her face.  I determined not to waste even one day.  If I was going to err, it would be on the side of too deep and too much communication.  Heaven forbid the reverse!

So it wasn't just 'baby talk'.  I talked to her about big ideas.  Along with introducing her to the names of simple objects, I told her about the Creator who made everything, including her.  Her Daddy and I told her all about our family, how we had prayed for her, and how much we loved her.  We told her that God had a plan for her and how He sent His Son to redeem her.  We answered why questions she wasn't even asking and explained how various things worked.  I told her what I was thinking and explained what was going on around her.

Did she get every bit of it?  I suppose not, but I am convinced that she did comprehend more than anybody would have expected her to.  And so did her brother who came next.  Let either of them have engaged you in conversation when they were three, and the evidence was irrefutable.

At this point, I have to say that I'm not holding us up as perfect parents who did everything right--we are far from it!  Neither do we have perfect children.  My point, instead, is simply this--that I know for a fact that children can comprehend far more at a very young age than is generally supposed.  And the evidence has been living in our house for nearly eighteen years.

In an earlier post, I mentioned our thirteen year old son's advice to "not dumb down God's Word" for children.  This time I'd like share something the seventeen year old evidence had to say on the topic.  Her thoughts on training children included this, "Have and give reasons for what you say, and don't expect them to not be able to understand what you tell them."

I realize this flies in the face of some very popular ideas on child development and education strategies, which maintain, instead, that children aren't capable of much reasoning 'til somewhere around the junior high years, and that dry facts are what children crave before that age.  There is a whole lot zooming around in my head on that topic, but that will be for another day soon.  For now, I simply ask this question.  If young children can really only handle dry facts, then why do two and three year olds incessantly ask, "Why?  Why?  Why?"?

God, of course, knows, definitively, the in and outs of a child's developing mind and is not silent on these things.  I choose to trust Him rather than rely on fad ideas from folks who have never even raised children of their own.  Joshua 8:35 gives us a picture of God's intentions, "There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded which Joshua did not read before all the assembly of Israel with the women and the little ones and the strangers who were living among them." (italics mine)  Deuteronomy 6 and Judges 2:10, among other passages, tell us relationships and conversations, or the lack of them, will shape hearts.

How young is too young for shaping hearts?  I'm not taking any chances.  I'm not comfortable with one wasted moment.  Are you?