There is a tragedy occurring over and over in our time. Children grow up in 'Christian homes', acquiring the basic external appearance of ‘good Christian kids’, but end up 'abandoning the faith' by their college days. What’s going on???
I think it may have something to do with what people call character. When the topic of character comes up, many times parents end up talking about manners and chore charts. I once attended an entire seminar devoted to charts. But here’s the thing—while manner books and chore charts can be very useful, they are only addressing the surface. A child can learn to conform to an external standard of socially acceptable behavior and accomplish his chores in a timely way, especially if there is a sweet or monetary reward involved, without ever having his heart involved. Children can be incredibly pragmatic.
The Bible calls this giving lip service and doing eyeservice (work that gets done only if the worker is watched) to please men, and contrasts it with doing the will of God from the heart, with sincere generosity, not at all self-seeking, all the while knowing we are really serving Christ.* The difference is the attitude of the heart. Character can’t be accurately measured with a chart, because character is a matter of the heart. A transformed heart that wants to please Christ will likely look good on a chart and be well mannered, but external measures might also be a grand illusion. In reality, someone could be a perfectly polite little pagan, whose heart is far from the Heavenly Father.
So what are we to do? Rules don’t shape hearts. According to God, it all starts with relationships. Relationships, or the lack of them, will shape hearts. Our allegiances ultimately determine what we will do and say.
More to come. . . .In the meantime, check out Deuteronomy 6.
* See Matthew 15:1-20; Ephesians 6:1-9; Colossians 3:20-24
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